


things that I don't know yet

by maevestrom



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Crossdressing, Dancing, F/F, GET IT, Kimono, The "Holy Shit I Think I'm Gay" Moment, Walking on Eggshells, fashion - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-09-06 21:57:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20298592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maevestrom/pseuds/maevestrom
Summary: Dark blue isn't really the color one would expect to illuminate anything, but Oboro didn't really know that anything needed to be until she sees Hinoka be true to herself for the first time.





	things that I don't know yet

**Author's Note:**

> Loosely inspired by the Gay Fates support between Hinoka and Oboro. Obviously, I had to celebrate Hinoka's birthday somehow!

I am not sure why I’m so listless. 

I’ve been waiting for this celebration for ages. As soon as it was announced, I feel like Lord Takumi could see the fire in my eyes. Not two minutes later, I already had a half-formed kimono idea brewing in my head. (Lady Hinoka calls it "my serious working face" so it must look pretty daunting.) After all, tailoring is my thing. Fashion is my thing. I know a good thing or two about making myself beautiful, even if it takes a little work. Now I’m in the kimono, an apple red gown with floor-length sleeves, a pattern of windy autumn leaves that I stitched in individually, a dark brown obi, and a train dragging a few inches on the floor. Even though I look nice I’m really uncomfortable being here. 

Why in the hell is my body betraying me?

Lord Takumi beckons towards the floor. When I follow his hand to his eyes, they’re looking straight at me. Pointedly so. He also seems restless, but he always is at parties like this. Actually, he always is in general. I think it’d be weirder if he wasn’t. I smile because everything he does is strangely endearing in its grumpiness. 

Then he asks a little impatiently “aren’t you gonna dance with anyone?”

My face drops. Back to square one, I guess. “Maybe. I don’t really know yet.”

Lord Takumi nods. “Interesting.” His hand rests on the waist of his floor-length striped hakama. It’s his favorite. Lady Hinoka referenced it when describing her dream kimono, one I slowly realized was a guy’s kimono. When that hit me, I think it knocked my kidneys out. Just an initial shock of pain and wrongness. But also, how could I not? It was the first time that the Lady looked less than dead serious and stiffly polite. If she wanted it, who was I to turn down a challenge? 

Besides, she needs a bit of spark in her eyes. After all we’re going through, she deserves it.

“Hey! Earth to Oboro!”

I jolt at the voice of Lord Takumi’s other retainer, Hinata. Dear Hotoke, how long was I lost in thought for? At least those are two minutes gone from the night. 

I face Hinata. He grins, looking like an oddly dignified puppy in a brown samurai’s kimono some poor shopkeeper probably made him pay way too much for. ( _ I can make you one of those for cheap _ , I told him, but  _ nooooo,  _ he already  _ had  _ one. His loss- it looks like a cheap costume.) “If you wanna kill some time, we can dance a time or two!” he offers.

I huff. “How could I say no to being a time-killer?”

“It was a suggestion!” He punctuates this with a sheepish laugh. 

“Thanks, but no thanks.” Three months of pretty underwhelming dating already taught us both the meaning of time-killing. That was pretty much all it was, and it’s hard for a little bit of that disappointment to help but crawl through conversations like this. Not that he seems to mind. (Honestly, he seems to agree.) 

With a devilish grin on his face, he adds “I’m sure that Lord Takumi wouldn’t mind, would he?”

I roll my eyes. Even though my crush on him is so obvious that I should, and also am not surprised Hinata would say that to his face, I mutter “Yeah, I’ll pass on that as well.”

The thing about Lord Takumi is that, yeah, he’s sweet beneath all his huff and bluster, and I guess I do like him, but dancing with him would just feel wrong. I would guess that it’s a retainer/liege thing, but I’ve already seen Lady Sakura dancing with Hana, which disqualifies that. (Also made me crazy happy, by the way, if only because seeing others happy makes my day.) I’m not sure what it is. Maybe I can just tell that he wouldn’t like it. 

Lord Takumi, to his credit, seems to be relieved at that. I think that’s because he likes men in the first place, though I’m the only one who concretely knows that. Which, now that I think about it, is probably the reason our dancing would be awkward.

“Probably for the best,” he responds in a calm tone. I appreciate how calm he is to me when he at least plays like he wants everyone else to jump in the ocean. “Yeah, don’t feel pressured to dance if you don’t want to. I just thought that you probably would.” 

“You did?” 

He gestures to the floor with a wide silver sleeve I can barely see his hand in. “You usually do.”

He’s right. I generally do, but I don’t know, it’s lost its appeal. I used to have all these ideas of things like dancing and romance that were… well, more or less ripped from novels. They were advertised to a lonely grieving teenage wreck as so much more than they were. An escape. When I first started dancing with the guys in Hoshido, it was severely underwhelming, but I started to accept the disappointment. I probably expected too much. And at this point, though it would waste some time, that’s really not what I should be here for. 

Maybe I’ll talk to some people. Socialize a bit. Like, half of the Hoshidan nobles are around here. If they can find some time to set aside for a humble tailor, then I’d probably take it. Well, maybe. It feels like it’s my type of event less and less, so I stare at the door to the dance hall, waiting for someone else to come out of it. 

I realize after a minute or so, I’m waiting for Lady Hinoka to show up. That’s one of the few things that makes sense because she’s the only one here to wear my design work. To seek me out and ask for my skill. That was flattering as hell, even if her request was a little bit unusual. Oh well, when we tried it on her, she looked dashing, though it’s not just what you wear, but how you wear it. 

I want to see how she wears it. 

She probably looks really good. 

Okay, that last bit was unplanned. Why am I excited over that? No, really, why does that sound more interesting to me than anything else in this stuffy celebration? Maybe this whole thing doesn’t make sense as much as I thought it would. Maybe I should dance with one of the guys, just to get this off of my mind before Lady Hinoka confuses the hell out of me again.

Maybe…

Then I see her walking in. 

I really try not to drop my jaw at the sight of her. First off, she’s absolutely rocking the kimono. The top is solid dark blue, a thin gold obi around the waist. The hakama leans gunmetal blue, stopping directly at the floor. The sleeves are short, each a simple cone with no overhang. They fall along the surface of her arms, and I realize what a great decision that was because… well, she’s always been muscular. All of that relentless training to get Lady Corrin back paid off. Do I like that she gets a chance to show that off? 

...more than I should, really. 

But what was it I said? It isn’t just what you wear, it’s how you wear it, and she’s wearing it with such confidence that I feel a little bit overwhelmed. Lady Hinoka does not generally go all-out with the sort of confidence she’s displaying. Strange how she’s such a wallflower in traditional women’s kimonos, but wearing something so transgressive makes her the belle of the ball. I think I’d have melted if that were me, but I do not think she’s ever minded being that way as much as she thinks that she should. Short hair, battle-ready clothes, a strong militant attitude… she’s always been someone to talk about.

I feel a poke at my side bring me back to Earth. It’s the kind that can only come from someone as daring and stupid as Hinata. “You keep doing that!” he laughs. 

“Oh, get over it,” I respond with a smirk. “You can entertain yourself.”

Then I see Lady Hinoka and point her out to the other two. “I made that.” My voice is wispy like I’m in a dream. 

Hinata’s eyes pop. “A  _ dude’s _ kimono?” 

“Yes, a dude’s kimono!” I snap.

“No, it looks  _ awesome! _ ” Hinata defends. “She looks so frickin’ hot.” It isn’t as sincere as I want, but it still makes me tense up, like, okay back off Hinata, she’s not yours. She's not  _ anyone's.  _ You'd be lucky if she made you  _ hers _ .

Lord Takumi places a hand on my shoulder. “She looks very nice,” he says. “You did well.” 

That calms me down a little. “Thanks.” Then, after a little hesitation, I gingerly add “She does.” 

Takumi hmms, like someone who gets something. Not sure what it is, but I don’t think I mind it. He lets me go, and as I look up, Lady Hinoka is walking towards me. Oh, crap, I’m so unprepared for this new Lady Hinoka. I kind of want to pass out, and really why am I intimidated? Maybe because she’s five-one but could still kick my ass and I’d kind of be okay if she did? 

Oh, my gods. 

Oboro, get it together, you’re embarrassing me.

She stops short of me and bows. I bow as well, trying not to burn where I stand. “L-Lady Hinoka!” 

She beams at me. “Oboro! I’m so glad I ran into you!”

_ Well, when I wait at the door for your arrival, it’s kind of hard not to.  _ “Goo- glad!” I respond. Graceful, Oboro. What’s the matter with me? I’ve never been this flustered around her. She’s the sister of my Liege. She’s always been a little stuffy like she’s playing a role she doesn’t mean to sometimes, but she’s still easy to get along with, like when she cracks little jokes in her conversations I don’t expect and can play off of. She’s always made me feel comfortable from when I met her, and now I just feel hot. Very hot. 

Lady Hinoka giggles. I feel two heads behind me crane to look at each other, ending with Hinata cackling. “Wanna go away from them?” I ask with a pointed glare at the back of their heads. 

“Sure,” she responds with a smile. She waves at the two of them. “Take care, Brother, Hinata.” 

“See you around,” Lord Takumi responds, looking way too smug with himself. I love him, but I would really love him more if he friggin’ stopped that. 

The two of us walk to the other side of the room, and I notice a few surprised sets of eyes linger on Lady Hinoka. The gasps are a little bit scandalized like they were personally set on fire, but if they burn, they burn, because that is my work and she looks amazing in it. Lady Hinoka also seems to take the gawking well, looking more empowered by the second, fueled by the shock. 

Eventually, we reach the wall on the other side. Hinoka leans against it shoulder-first, arms outstretched. I think I stand next to her too, but I don’t think I’m acting any better than the ones gawking at her. Consider it just… amazement. 

She notices, looking me in the eye. “S-sorry, Lady Hinoka!” I blurt, turning away. 

“It’s okay,” she responds with a chuckle, adjusting back into my eyesight. I take the hint and look back, and  _ wow,  _ I’m glad I did. “You made it.”

“And you’re rocking it!”

I swear to God, she blushes a little. Not as fiercely as I must be, but she basically never blushes. Ever. “I’m doing my best, but I’m really glad you made it. The blue is… I love it.”

I blush. “Most of the garment was your idea, though! Like, I’d never have made it if you didn’t push me to.”

“I had to push myself a little, too,” she admits. “I don’t think I’d ask any tailor for this, you know. I just… I had a feeling about you.”

“I’m glad!” A little confused; I’m an exceedingly feminine tailor  _ and  _ person and I probably will be until the day I die, but I’ll take it. “Cause you were right. You were totally right.”

She pulls on the kimono sleeve. God, her arm muscles. “About this?”

I nod. She looks amazing in this. She looks amazing enough to knock me off of my feet. She looks like a princess, with a dash of prince, because she looks like she’s doing it her way, and because of that it feels authentic. It makes me feel safer. It makes me feel this pull towards her that I kind of realize was always there but now I fully realize, a feeling that I don’t know if I really knew about until I see her there, flawless skin, messy red hair, strapping muscles, a masculine blue kimono resting across her taut body, creating this pinnacle of strength, leaning against the wall and stealing glances at me with a smile that also seems to realize some sort of feeling. 

“Yeah,” I whisper, mouth dry. “About that.”

Lady Hinoka thinks for a second, face as red as her hair. After a few seconds, she absently asks “Would you mind dancing with me, Oboro?”

I point at myself. Suddenly I feel like the sheltered kid sister because… well, I haven’t danced with a girl in my life. Ever. Not even to kill the time. I think it’s because it was always drilled into me that you don’t do that unless it’s friendly. Not that dancing with guys is any less platonic for me. And with Hinoka… I just… I know it wouldn’t be. Because we’re both thinking at a million miles an hour and I know I won’t be able to keep my thoughts straight. I might never be able to again.

“Sorry,” she says. “I know I’m asking a lot-”

I surprise myself and take her hand. Well, that’s one line crossed. How about another?

“It would be my pleasure to dance with you.”

Lady Hinoka smiles. I’m not sure if I really can read it. I try, but I’m not very literate. Still, even if I don’t understand the gleam in her eye, I like the idea of being the reason why. 

She leads me to the floor as a band performs their next song. It’s clear that I’m a far better dancer than her. I  _ am  _ a pretty good dancer, because when you’re generally bored by the flash, you learn how to practice and refine your form. Still, even though Hinoka is mostly copying what I’m doing while mixing in traces of royal charm classes that she barely attended, I find that I’m really enjoying it.

“You look pretty,” she admits. 

“Holy shit.” I catch myself. "And, uh, so do you! Or handsome, or just… good." 

That might be what I enjoy.

She laughs and grips me tighter. "Either works!"

Or it's largely because she’s touching me. Respectfully, but… it’s very nice. I feel honored, her hand on my waist around the sleeve, another on my shoulder, her presence near mine… I lead it, which I’ve never imagined myself doing with anyone. I don’t feel dragged along, and I don’t feel like I’m dragging her along. What she’s good with doing, I’m good with doing. And honestly, if she ever wants to get closer, I’m okay with that. I actually kind of hope she does. I really hope she does. 

Then the song stops, and I slump with disappointment. 

Lady Hinoka looks me in the eyes. “Another?”

I perk back up and smile. 

“That sounds like a great idea, Lady Hinoka.”

\---

Eventually, Lady Hinoka leaves me to talk to others. I kind of want to sew myself to her side, but I know that she’s a princess. She’s gotta do her thing. So I walk back near the door where Lord Takumi is, thankfully without Hinata there to tease me. “Sorry I was gone for so long,” I start.

“Three dances,” he points out, and I pout in rebellion like I wouldn’t have made it four if I could. 

“And here I was thinking that I was over it,” I respond. 

Lord Takumi chuckles. “When it first hit me, I was the same way.”

I laugh huskily like I’m not embarrassed. Then I play the words again, and I realize what he means by  _ it,  _ and I realize, damn it, he may be onto something. Something that will take me a long time to untangle, but something I can’t really argue with. 

I look to Lady Hinoka. She’s talking with a playful Orochi in the top left corner. She’s blushing again, hand on hip, and I guess I should be thinking about many complicated things, but here I am thinking that I would really like to dance with her again. 

“I think it’s hitting her too,” Lord Takumi ribs me. I am not sure if I really appreciate the guy I thought I had feelings for teasing me about my latest crush, the first woman I’ve had a crush on, but at the same time, it makes me feel closer to him. Like we’re talking in a language others don’t understand. I’ve realized that, wow, a lot of the royal family knows that language, and I think being literate in it would be nice. 

“I kind of hope,” I admit with a giggle. 

Besides, Lady Hinoka is adorable when she gets flustered. 

“Think it’ll lead to something?” he asks me. He’s curious, all teasing gone. That makes it easier to answer. 

“Yeah. I know it will.”

**Author's Note:**

> "Is there anything more potent than the idea of Hinoka actually shredding the last bit of comphet that Oboro had left in their A-Support and just making her so fucking gay" -me, a few days ago, germinating on this concept


End file.
